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Tony In The Morning Blog

Man! The CRAZIEST stuff happens to ME. I AM married. And, I have KIDS. And a dog. And two cats. Read about it HERE...

California Cool

by Tony Manes , posted Oct 29 2012 2:17PM

WHEN I WAS GROWING-UP IN INDIANA..

I "DREAMED" OF MOVING TO CALIFORNIA..

THE "LAND" OF BEAUTIFUL "WEATHER"..

"&"..BEAUTIFUL "PEOPLE"..

& "THEN"..IN 1994..I MOVED TO BAKERSFIELD..

& I "REMEMBER"

BEING SOMEWHAT "INTIMIDATED"..

BY THE "PEOPLE"..

I MEAN THESE WERE "CALIFORNIANS"--THE "COOLEST"
PEOPLE "IN"-AMERICA..

& I WAS THIS "RUBE" FROM INDIANA..

& I WAS "SURE" THAT "IT" WAS "OBVIOUS"..

"EVERY"-TIME I OPENED MY MOUTH..

"THEN"..
I WENT TO MY FIRST GAME AT "DODGER STADIUM"..

WHICH WAS "VERY"-EXCITING..

BECAUSE I HAD SEEN IT "MANY"-TIMES ON TV..

& THERE WERE THESE 2-GUYS SITTING "BEHIND"-US..

NATURALLY.."I"-ASSUMED THEY WERE A COUPLE OF "COOL"-"LA GUYS"..

"BUT"..AS THE GAME WENT ON..

I "REALIZED"..THESE TWO GUYS.. WERE "BIGGER"-DORKS THAN "ME"..

& "THAT"
IS WHEN I-"DISCOVERED"

THAT "EVERYONE"
"IN" CALIFORNIA
"ISN'T"-NECESSARILY-"COOL"..

NOW MY WIFE GREW-UP IN LA CANADA..

WHICH IS A PRETTY-"SNOOTY" PLACE..

& I WENT WITH HER TO HER HIGH SCHOOL REUNION 5-YEARS-AGO..

IT WAS ON A "BOAT"

CRUISING NEWPORT HARBOR..

NOW "I"-THOUGHT..

GROWING-UP IN LA CANADA..

THERE WOULD BE A "LOT" OF "SUCCESSFUL".."SNOOTY"-PEOPLE AT THE REUNION..

"INSTEAD"..THEY "ACTED" LIKE A "BUNCH" OF 38-YEAR-OLD "TEENAGERS"..

THERE WAS A BUS TO SHUTTLE-US TO THE BOAT..

& SOME GUY "SNUCK" "ALCOHOL" ON-THE-BUS..

IT WAS A "BOTTLE" OF "MALIBU"-RUM..

YOU KNOW "WHO" DRINKS "MALIBU" RUM??..

HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS..
& COLLEGE FRESHMAN..

& "EVERYBODY" WAS SLUGGING-OFF THE BOTTLE..

& YELLING & SCREAMING..

"LIKE" HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS..
"OR" COLLEGE FRESHMAN..

& "THEN"..

WE'RE "ON" THE BOAT..
CRUSING NEWPORT HARBOR..

& I GO OUTSIDE..TO GET SOME AIR..

& I'M STANDING ON THE DECK..

& AROUND "ONE" CORNER..

THERE'S A COUPLE..HIDING IN THE DARK "MAKING-OUT"..

& AROUND THE "OTHER"-CORNER..

IS A GUY..HIDING IN THE DARK
SMOKING A JOINT..

& "THESE" ARE "ADULTS"..

IN THEIR "LATE"-30'S..

WELL..MY WIFE HAD HER "25TH" REUNION THIS "PAST"-WEEKEND..

& I "PASSED" ON GOING "WITH"-HER..

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO HANG-OUT WITH A BUNCH OF IMMATURE DRUNKS..

SO "I" STAYED AT HOME..

I DRANK A HALF-BOTTLE OF "KETTLE ONE"..

ATE "3"-BAGS OF HALLOWEEN CANDY..

SELECTED MY FANTASY FOOTBALL STARTING LINEUP..

& TP'ED THE NEIGHBORS HOUSE..

THE "ONE" WITH THE "LOUD" SOUND-SYSTEM..

Tags :
Locations : California, Indiana
People : I WENT

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10/29/2012 11:16AM

California Cool

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