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Tony In The Morning Blog

  Man! The CRAZIEST stuff happens to ME. I AM married. And, I have KIDS. And a dog. And two cats. Read about it HERE...



Our dog Molly is a BARKER!

SO..

OUR-DOG "MOLLY"..

IS A "BARKER"..

(WHICH IS "GOOD"
WHEN IT COMES TO "SCARING-OFF" THIEVES..

"&"...JEHOVA'S WITNESSES..

BUT "BAD"..

WHEN IT COMES TO "PEACE & QUIET"..

& MAINTAINING YOUR "SANITY")..

MY WIFE
WORKS OUT OF OUR HOME..

& GETS PACKAGES FROM "UPS" EVERY-DAY..

WHEN THE "UPS"-GUY "DELIVERS" THE PACKAGE..

HE DROPS-IT AT THE FRONT-DOOR..
& "RINGS" THE DOORBELL..

WHICH-SENDS "MOLLY"

INTO A BARKING-"FRENZY"..

"EVENTUALLY"..

SHE STARTED-"BARKING"

WHEN SHE'D "HEAR" THE TRUCK..

"STOP"-OUT-FRONT..

&-"THAT"...HAS "PROGRESSED"

TO "BARKING" AT "ANY"-"UPS" TRUCK
"IN" THE "NEIGHBORHOOD"..

NOW MOLLY "ALSO"-BARKS
AT THE GARDENERS..

BUT..IT'S-"WORSE"..

BECAUSE "THEY"

COME-"IN" OUR "BACK"-YARD..

SHE'LL RUN-OUT THE DOGGY DOOR WHEN SHE HEARS-THEM..

"BARKING" HER HEAD-OFF..

&-"THEY'LL" POINT A LEAF-BLOWER AT-HER..

& SHE'LL-RUN "RIGHT"-BACK "IN"
THE DOGGY DOOR..

& "CONTINUE"-BARKING..

(WHICH-"REALLY"
"TESTS" MY PATIENCE)..

SO..

I "MAKE"-HER

COME "IN"-TO THE MAN CAVE..

& "SHUT" THE DOOR..

WELL..

ABOUT "2"-WEEKS-AGO..

SHE STARTED "BARKING"

AT OUR "NEIGHBORS" GARDENERS..

(& ONCE-AGAIN..
I HAVE-TO CALL HER "IN"
TO THE MAN CAVE..

& "SHUT"-THE-DOOR..

UNTIL THE "NEIGHBORS"-GARDENERS "LEAVE")..

& WHAT "REALLY"-ANNOYS ME

IS-THAT SHE "WON'T"

"STOP"-BARKING..

NO-MATTER HOW-"LOUD"

I-"YELL" AT HER..
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I remember the time Dad IV

MY DAD-KENNY-PASSED AWAY 4-YEARS-AGO..

& I'VE BEEN MISSING HIM A "BUNCH" THIS-WEEK..

OUR "MIDDLE"-KID "MEGAN"..

WHO WILL-BE A "SENIOR" AT FORDHAM"..

PLAYED SOFTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL..

NOW "MEGAN"

"DIDN'T"-HIT

MANY HOME RUNS..

("UNO"..TO BE "EXACT")..

& MY DAD..

(LIVING IN "INDIANA)..

DIDN'T-"SEE"

MANY GAMES..

2-OR-3...OUT OF
"A-HUNDRED"..

(OVER "4"-YEARS AT STOCKDALE)..

BUT ON THE "DAY"

MEGAN "HIT"

HER-"ONLY"..CAREER HOME RUN..

A HOME RUN THAT "WON"
THE GAME..

A HOME RUN THAT A "SPORTS-CRAZY PARENT"-LIKE ME..
"DREAMS"-ABOUT-YOUR KID HITTING

(I WILL "NEVER"-FORGET THE "SIGHT"
OF THAT "BALL"
"DISAPPEARING"
"BEHIND"
THE OUTFIELD FENCE)..

ON "THAT"

"MAGICAL"-DAY..

MY "DAD"

WAS SITTING "RIGHT" NEXT TO ME..

SO..

I REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN DAD

WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME..
& MEGAN HIT A HOME RUN..
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Angels in Bakersfield

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS A SICK-LITTLE-BOY..

HE'S UNDERGOING CHEMO..

HE'S HAD ORGANS-REMOVED..

& BEEN-"IN" THE HOSPITAL IN L-A

FOR "EXTENDED"-STAYS..

IT'S-"SAD"..

& IT'S "NOT"-FAIR..

WELL..
HE WAS "ANTICIPATING"
HIS SON GETTING "OUT" OF THE HOSPITAL..
& COMING-HOME "LAST"-WEEK..

BUT ON THE "DAY"
THE KID WAS "SUPPOSED"-TO GET-OUT..

MY FRIEND GOT A CALL..

SAYING HIS SON'S-"RELEASE"

WOULD BE DELAYED..

WELL MY FRIEND WAS "DEVASTATED"..

& HE HAD TO PULL-OVER..

IN THAT PARKING LOT

ACROSS FROM THE MAIN-ENTRANCE

TO THE FAIRGROUNDS..

& HE GETS-"OUT" OF HIS CAR..

& "CRUMPLES"
TO THE GROUND..

"CRYING"..

IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE EMPTY PARKING-LOT..

& THIS "MAN"..

(WHO HAD BEEN WORKING "AT"
THE FAIRGROUNDS)..

WALKS "OUT" OF THE FAIRGROUNDS..

ACROSS "P"-STREET..

& "UP" TO MY FRIEND..

ON THE GROUND

"CRYING"

IN THE PARKING LOT..

& HE-SAYS..

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT BUDDY?
I SAW YOU FALL-DOWN
& I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING WRONG"..

& MY FRIEND...

"THROUGH" HIS TEARS..

TELLS THE MAN HIS STORY...

& THE "MAN"..

"DROPS" TO HIS KNEES..

PUTS HIS "HAND"

ON MY FRIENDS "SHOULDER"..

& BEGINS TO "PRAY"..

FOR MY FRIEND..

& HIS SICK LITTLE-BOY..

(WHAT-"INCREDIBLE"-PEOPLE

WE-"LIVE"-AMONG)..
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I remember the time Dad III

MY DAD "DIED" 4-YEARS-AGO..

(& I MISS HIM A "WHOOOOLE"-LOT
"THIS"-WEEK)..

BUT I-"LIKE"

"TALKING"-ABOUT HIM..

MY FATHER-"KENNY"..

WORKED FOR THE POST OFFICE FOR 35-YEARS..

"15"-OF THOSE AS A "RURAL MAIL CARRIER"..

DELIVERING MAIL TO THE FARMERS WHO LIVED "OUT"-IN THE COUNTY..

MY DAD HAD A "ROUGH"-EXTERIOR........
"&"...A HEART OF GOLD..

NOW "INDIANA"
GETS SOME "SERIOUS"-WINTER..

& MY DAD..

BEING "OUT" IN THE ELEMENTS..

"DELIVERING" THE MAIL..IN HIS "GREMLIN"..

(YES...MY DAD "DROVE" A "GREMLIN"--HE WAS "COOL" LIKE-THAT)..

HE "ALWAYS"-WORE..

AN "INSULATED"-VEST..

"OVER"..A HOODED SWEATSHIRT..

"&".....

A "STOCKING CAP"..

PULLED-"DOWN"

"OVER"..HIS EARS..

WELL 1-MORNING

WHEN I WAS WORKING THE OVERNIGHT-SHIFT IN INDIANAPOLIS..

(IT WAS ABOUT 6-IN THE MORNING)..

& I WAS GETTING-READY TO GO-HOME..

& THE GUY WHO WAS THERE TO REPLACE-ME..

LOOKS-"OUT" OF THE "2ND"-FLOOR WINDOW..

"DOWN" TO THE PARKING LOT

& "SAYS"..

"OH MAN..
GET-OVER-HERE..
& "LOOK" AT "THIS"..

THERE'S AN AXE-MURDERER STANDING DOWN-THERE

NEXT TO A GREMLIN"..

& "I"
WALK-OVER....& LOOK-"DOWN"..

&-"THERE"..

IN HIS "INSULATED VEST"..

"OVER"...HIS HOODED-SWEATSHIRT..

WITH HIS "STOCKING-CAP"

PULLED-"DOWN" OVER HIS EARS

WAS MY "DAD"..

WHO HAD LEFT HUNTINGTON
AT 4AM

TO DRIVE TO INDIANAPOLIS..

TO HAVE BREAKFAST

WITH HIS "SON"..

SO..

"ANOTHER" THOUGHT-STARTER

FOR A-CHANCE TO WIN THE $800 WATCH FOR FATHER'S DAY
FROM "HOUSTON JEWELERS"..

"I"--"REMEMBER THE TIME DAD..

DROVE 2-HOURS..

DRESSED AS AN "AXE MURDERER"..

TO TAKE-ME TO BREAKFAST..
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I remember the time Dad I & II

SO..

WHEN "I" BECAME A "DAD"..

I FINALLY "SAW"..

THE "SACRIFICE"..
& THE "SELF-LESS-NESS"..
& THE "TIME"..
& THE "MONEY"..

THAT GOES-"IN"

TO BEING A "GOOD DAD"..

I "REALIZED"..

WHAT A "GREAT"-DAD..
"I"-HAD..

-HE WORKED "2"-JOBS.."YET" CAME TO "ALL" MY GAMES..
-HE TRADED-"IN" HIS BOAT
TO BUY MY FIRST CAR..
-HE "PAYED" MY TUITION AT BUTLER UNIVERSITY FOR
"6"-YEARS..

& WHEN WE WERE RAISING OUR KIDS..

& MY PARENTS WOULD VISIT FROM INDIANA..

THE "MOST"-IMPORTANT-THING IN THE "WORLD" TO-ME..

I-"WANTED"

"MY"-DAD..

TO "SEE" THAT "I"

WAS A "GOOD DAD"-TOO..

I WAS PAYING-"TRIBUTE"..

TO "HIM"..

SO-"MY" FILL-IN-THE-BLANK..

"I"..

"REMEMBER" THE TIME WHEN DAD..

PUT HIS ARM AROUND MY SHOULDER..& "SAID"..

"YOU'RE DOING A GREAT-JOB WITH THOSE-KIDS"..

----------


WHEN OUR-KIDS WERE GROWING-UP..

MY PARENTS..WHO LIVED IN INDIANA..

WOULD COME TO BAKERSFIELD
FOR A "MONTH" IN THE SPRING..

LIVING SO-FAR APART..

IT WAS A "GREAT"-CHANCE TO SPEND "TIME"-TOGETHER..

(& "DO"
SOME OF THE THINGS YOU'D "DO"..

IF YOU LIVED IN THE "SAME"-TOWN)..

ONE-YEAR..

(IT WAS ON A "SATURDAY")..

WE STARTED AT NORTH HIGH..

WATCHING MEGAN & COLLEEN PLAY SOFTBALL..

& "THEN"..

THE "REST" OF THAT-DAY..

MY WIFE & I

TOOK MY MOM & DAD

"ON"-THE "OLD-TOWN KERN-CRAWL"..

"NARDUCCI'S"..

"WOOL GROWERS"..

"PYRENEES CAFE"..

& WE ENDED-"UP"

AT "LUIGI'S"..

WHERE ONE OF MY "ALL"-TIME "FAVORITE" PHOTOS
WAS-TAKEN..

OF MY MOM..MY DAD..MY WIFE..& ME..

"SITTING"-AROUND
A "PATIO"-TABLE AT "LUIGI'S"..

THERE'S A PITCHER OF BEER..

& 4-GLASSES..

("ALL"--"HALF"-FULL)..

& WE'RE-"ALL"---"SMILING"..

("GENUINE"-"HAPPY"-SMILES)..

"I"..

AM SITTING "NEXT" TO MY DAD..

&-"HE"

HAS HIS "LEFT"-ARM

"AROUND" MY SHOULDER..

NOW MY LATE-DAD "WASN'T" AN "OUTWARDLY-AFFECTIONATE" MAN..

BUT IN "THAT"-PICTURE..

(WHICH SITS IN A PROMINENT-POSITION IN MY MAN CAVE)..

I CAN "SEE"....
HOW-"MUCH"
HE "LOVED"-ME..

SO..

HERE'S ANOTHER FILL-IN-THE-BLANK-"THOUGHT-STARTER"
FROM "ME"..

(&-"THIS"..
IS "ALL" YOU HAVE TO DO..
TO ENTER-TO-WIN THE $800 WATCH FOR FATHER'S DAY
FROM "HOUSTON JEWELERS")..

"I"..

"REMEMBER" THE TIME WHEN DAD..

PUT HIS ARM AROUND-ME AT "LUIGI'S"..

(I'M "SO"-GLAD I HAVE "THAT"-PICTURE)..
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I LOVE tacos!

SO..

WHEN THE KIDS WERE GROWING-UP..

TACOS..

WERE A "REGULAR"-ITEM ON OUR DINNER-MENU..

MY WIFE
MAKES "GREAT"-TACOS..

CARNE ASADA..
POLLO..
CAMARONES..

(SHE-"IS"
A FAIR-SKINNED BLONDE..
WHO GREW-UP IN LA CANADA..

SO IT'S "NOT"-SURPRISING

THAT "SHE"-WOULD MAKE "GREAT"-TACOS)..

"BUT"..

WHEN ALL OUR KIDS
WENT AWAY TO COLLEGE..

SHE "QUIT" MAKING TACOS..

(THE "SMELL" OF TACO-MEAT..

"SIMMERING" ON THE STOVE..

"DISAPPEARED"
FROM OUR "CASA")..

& "THEN"..

THE BONELESS..
SKINLESS..
CHICKEN BREASTS...

& BROCCOLI..

& ZUCCHINI..

& ASAPARAGUS..

&-"BEET-SALADS"..

& "KALE"..

I "WANT" TACOS!!..

SO "LAST"-WEEK..

MY WIFE
MADE-"ME" TACOS..

ON MONDAY..

& "AGAIN"--ON TUESDAY..

& "AGAIN"--ON WEDNESDAY..

"&".....

SHE MADE THEM "AGAIN"-

"MONDAY"-NIGHT..

"&"--TUESDAY..

"&"--LAST NIGHT..

(YOU CAN PROBABLY "SMELL" THE
THE "TAPATIO"
ON MY BREATH)..

& WHILE I'VE "LOVED"-
"EVERY" CRUNCHY-BITE..

"WHY IS MY WIFE
MAKING ME TACOS-AGAIN?"..

& "THIS"-MORNING

I "REMEMBERED"..

WE "RECENTLY"

"UPDATED" OUR "WILL"..

BUT "HEY"..

IF "I" GOTTA' GO..

I "HOPE" IT'S "WITH"

A "BELLY-FULL" OF TACOS..

("OR"..

IN THE ARMS OF SALMA HAYEK)..
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My i-Phone goes IN to the pool

SO..

I TOLD YOU "YESTERDAY"..

THAT OVER THE WEEKEND..

I WAS "RUSHING"-AROUND..

"NOT"-PAYING ATTENTION..

& I "ACCIDENTALLY"

"FELL"..

(FULLY-CLOTHED..& HOLDING A BROOM)..

"IN"-TO...OUR POOL..

(I "SUSPECT"
THAT AS I WAS "RUSHING"-AROUND..
"NOT" PAYING-ATTENTION..

MY-WIFE "MOVED" THE POOL..

TO A "PLACE" WHERE I WOULD "FALL"-IN..

GIVING "HER"..
& THE "PETS"..
A "GOOD"-LAUGH)..

ANYWAY..

"MANY"-ITEMS WERE "DAMAGED"

MY-"PRIDE"..

MY "MANHOOD"..

MY-"CONFIDENCE"
IN MY "ABILITY"
TO "NAVIGATE-OUR-BACKYARD"..
"WITHOUT" WALKING "IN"-
TO THE WATER-FILLED-HOLE)..

"&"..

MY "I-PHONE"..

(WHICH IS "WAAAAAY" MORE-IMPORTANT THAN MY "PRIDE"..

"OR"..MY "MANHOOD"

"OR"..MY "NAVIGATION-SKILLS")..

IT WAS "IN"-MY POCKET..

(& "THAT"-STICKING YOUR
"WET-PHONE" IN "RICE??..

THAT "DOESN'T"-WORK)..

SO..

I "WENT" TO THE AT&T STORE

WHERE I "RECEIVED"-"GREAT" CUSTOMER SERVICE FROM "LESLIE"..

(IT ONLY-TOOK..."30"-MINUTES)..

BUT YOU KNOW-"WHAT"
TAKES-THE-"MOST"-TIME??..

WHEN THEY "DISAPPEAR"
IN-TO THE "BACK ROOM"
TO "GET"..
THE NEW-PHONE..

("LESLIE" WAS-GONE
FOR LIKE-"10"-MINUTES)..

& "I" STARTED TO "WONDER"..

"WHAT'S" SHE "DOING"
"BACK-THERE"?..

"I"-IMAGINE..
IT'S A "BEAUTIFUL"-PLACE

(A-"LOT" LIKE "HEAVEN"..

OR "CAMBRIA")..

WITH "I-PHONES"..
& "I-PADS"..
& "I-PAD--MINI'S"..

"STACKED"..
AS-"FAR"...AS THE EYE CAN SEE..

& IT'S "QUIET"..

"EXCEPT"....FOR THE "HUMMM"

OF-THE "I-PHONES"..
& "I-PADS"..
& "I-PAD--MINIS"..

"CHARGING")..

WHAT "GOES-ON"
"BACK-THERE" THAT-TAKES "SOOO"-LONG?.

IS LESLIE BACK-THERE
"MAKING FUN OF ME"--
BECAUSE I HAVE AN "OLD" PHONE?..

IS SHE "REGISTERING" MY "NEW"-PHONE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT AGENCY THAT "TRACKS"-ME
THROUGH-"GPS"..

IS LESLIE A "NAPPING"..

TO THE QUIET-"HUM"..

OF-THE "I-PHONES"..
& "I-PADS"..
& "I-PAD--MINIS"..

"CHARGING"?..

ALL "I"-KNOW..

IS THAT AFTER-ABOUT 10-MINUTES..

LESLIE WALKED-"OUT"..

OF THE "BACK-ROOM"..

(I-"HEARD" A FAINT-"HUM")..

& "HANDED"-ME

A "BRAND"-NEW..

"I-PHONE"..

(NOW..

I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THAT

"WATERPROOF YOUR I-PHONE"-APP..

OR..

EVEN-"BETTER"..

"GOOGLE EARTH"..

SO I CAN "SEE"...

WHERE "I"-AM..

IN PROXIMITY TO THE POOL)..
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Whoops!

SO..

I WAS WATCHING THE PACERS-HEAT NBA PLAYOFF GAME SATURDAY NIGHT..

I GREW-UP "IN"-INDIANA..

SO I'M A PACERS-FAN..

& "NOTHING" WOULD BE "SWEETER" THAN BEATING LEBRON JAMES & THE HEAT..

SO MY WIFE & I WERE WATCHING
GAME-6 IN MY MAN-CAVE..

("YES"..MY WIFE "IS"-ALLOWED IN THE MAN CAVE--BUT "ONLY"
FOR "IMPORTANT"-GAMES.....

OR THE SEASON-PREMIERE OF "KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS"..)..

NOW "I"..

WAS FIRED-UP..

(BECAUSE LIKE-I-SAID..
THE HEAT...LEBRON JAMES)..

WELL..

I HAD BEEN DOING SOME YARD-WORK "EARLIER" IN-THE-DAY..

& I-"HADN'T" FINISHED

PUTTING EVERYTHING "AWAY"

WHEN THE GAME STARTED..

SO..

"WHENEVER"
THERE WAS A TIME-OUT..

I WOULD "DASH" FROM THE MAN CAVE..

"OUT" THE BACK-DOOR..

"GRAB" A COUPLE OF YARD-TOOLS..

"RETURN" THEM TO THE GARAGE..

& DASH-"BACK" TO THE COUCH
IN THE MAN CAVE..

WELL THE "3RD"-TIME
I "RUSHED" OUT..

& I WAS SWEEPING-UP..

"AROUND" THE POOL..

& I-"TURN"

TO "HURRY"-BACK "INSIDE"..

BUT I'M
"WAAAAY"-CLOSER
TO THE POOL
THAN I THOUGHT..

(MY "RIGHT"-FOOT WAS ON THE "EDGE" OF THE POOL..

& "ALL"-MY WEIGHT..
WAS "PUSHING"-ME "THAT"-WAY)..

SO I'M-"FIGHTING"

TO REGAIN-MY-BALANCE..

& I'M "TIGHT-ROPING"

ALONG THE "EDGE" OF THE POOL..

& I-"GET" MY WEIGHT-SHIFTED
TO THE "LEFT"-SIDE..

& I GET MY "LEFT"-FOOT DOWN..

BUT IT'S "TOO"-LATE..

& "ME"..

& MY-"BROOM"...

FALL "INTO" THE POOL

WITH A "GIANT"-SPLASH..

& AS I "HIT" THE WATER..

MY-"GLASSES" WENT FLYING-OFF MY FACE..

&-"SANK"...TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL..

(NOW "WITHOUT" GLASSES OR CONTACTS..
I CAN'T "SEE"..PAST THE END OF MY NOSE)..

SO I'M "STANDING"

IN THE "MIDDLE" OF THE POOL..

"FULLY"-CLOTHED..

"BLIND"..

"STUNNED"..

"HOLDING" A BROOM..

& I'M BROUGHT-BACK TO "REALITY"

BY THE "SOUND" OF MY-WIFE "LAUGHING"..

&-"SAYING"..

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE POOL?"..

(JUST "COOLING-OFF" SWEETIE)..
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Black Bear Diner Coming to Bako!

I "LOVE"-DINERS..

THE WAY THEY "SMELL"..

& THE WAY THEY "SOUND"..

(USUALLY "LOTS" OF "ACTIVITY")..

& A "SASSY"-WAITRESS

(WHO'S WORKING "15"-TABLES)..

& A-"COUNTER"..

I "LOVE" SITTING AT "THE COUNTER"..

"HERE" IN BAKO..

MY-"FAVORITE" DINERS "ARE"..

-"24TH STREET CAFE" & "MILTS"..

(WHICH I-"THINK"..ARE OWNED BY THE SAME-PEOPLE)..

& AS OUR-KIDS HAVE GROWN-UP..

& WE'D BE ON-THE-ROAD..

WE'D "SEEK-OUT"-"LOCAL"-DINERS..

OF COURSE THE "KEENE CAFE"..

"APPLE ANNIES"--OFF THE 99 IN TULARE IS "GOOD"..

"FRESNO"-HAS-"THE COUNTRY KITCHEN"..(SAY FRES-"YES"..TO THE "COUNTRY
KITCHEN")..

THE "JACK RANCH CAFE"..
ON THE 46 AT THE "JAMES DEAN MEMORIAL"..

WITH "2"-OF OUR KIDS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA..

WE-DISCOVERED "CHAFFINS" IN TUCSON..

& "ONCE" YOU'RE-"IN" ARIZONA THERE'S "THE CRACKER BARREL"
(WHICH IS "ALWAYS"-SOLID)..

"&"..

MY "FAVORITE" DINER OF "ALL"..

THE "BLACK BEAR DINER"..

THERE'S ONE IN TULARE..

& ONE IN HANFORD..

& "WE'VE"-EATEN AT
"2"-LOCATIONS IN PHOENIX..

& GUESS WHAT??..

A "BLACK BEAR DINER" IS OPENING IN BAKERSFIELD..

("WHEN" I-"SAID" THOSE-WORDS..
I DON'T-KNOW IF YOU COULD "HEAR"-IT?..
BUT MY STOMACH "GROWLED"
JUST-"LIKE"-A "BLACK"-BEAR)..

THE "TWO" GIANT-BEARS

"&" THE "BLACK BEAR DINER"-"SIGN"

IS-"UP"..

ON-THAT BUILDING
ON CALIFORNIA..
"NEXT" TO THE CHEVRON..
AT CHESTER LANE..

(THAT'S BEEN EVERYTHING FROM A SALAD BUFFET-TO-A-DENTIST'S OFFICE)..

"I"..

HAVEN'T BEEN "THIS"-EXCITED.........

WELL.....

"EVER"...

("MAAAAAAYBE"--
WHEN I MARRIED MY WIFE)..

BUT I "GUARANTEE"

I'LL-"STILL"-LOVE THE "BLACK BEAR DINER"..

IN 12-YEARS..
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