SO..
OUR "OLDEST" KID--JD..
"OFFICIALLY" COMES "OFF" THE PAYROLL TODAY..
AS HE BEGINS "WORK"
IN THE "REAL"-WORLD..
AS A TOBACCO SALESMAN..
---------------
"&"..
AS I SAID "YESTERDAY"..
THERE IS "NO"
"MORE"---"AMERICAN"-JOB..
THAN TOBACCO SALESMAN..
BESIDES..
GUN SALESMAN..
& LIQUOR SALESMAN..
(choked up)--TOBACCO SALESMAN..
I AM "SO" PROUD..
TO "BE" AN "AMERICAN"
"RIGHT"-NOW..
SO..
"MY" BOY..
WILL BE SELLING TOBACCO..
TO THOSE "SMOKE SHOPS"..
HAVE YOU "EVER" BEEN-"IN"
1-OF THOSE "SMOKE SHOPS"??..
IT'S "ONLY" ONE-OF-THE-"COOLEST" SHOPS YOU'LL EVER "SHOP"-AT..
HOOKAH'S..
SAMURI SWORDS..
A "HUMIDOR"..
"I"..
HAVE ALREADY ASKED THE "TOBACCO SALESMAN" TO GET ME 1-OF THOSE "LIFE"-SIZE WOODEN INDIANS FOR MY "MAN CAVE"..
"THOSE"-ARE WORKS OF ART..
(& I "DON'T" WANT A "CHEAP"-IMITATION--
I "WANT" ONE THAT LOOKS "ALMOST"-REAL--
SOMETHING "HAND"-CARVED..
IT'S "TIME" TO START PAYING ME "BACK"..
FOR ALL THE NICE CARS..& VACATIONS..
THAT "I" HAVE BEEN MISSING-OUT-ON)..
WELL..HE CAN "BEGIN"..WITH..
A "LIFE"-SIZE WOODEN INDIAN..
----------------------------
I "JUST"-HOPE IT'S A JOB HE "LIKES"..
"I" WAS LUCKY..
I WANTED TO WORK ON THE RADIO SINCE I TOOK A CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL..
WE HAD A HIGH SCHOOL RADIO STATION..
I "LOVED"-RADIO FROM "THAT"-MOMENT-ON..
SO..I WENT TO COLLEGE FOR IT..
BUT "ALL" I "REALLY" WANTED TO DO WAS HAVE A "JOB" IN RADIO..
& I GOT "THAT" AT 21..
& I'VE BEEN DOING IT MY "WHOLE" LIFE..
("&".....I'VE PRETTY MUCH "LOVED" COMING TO "WORK"
"EVERY"-DAY OF MY LIFE)..
I'VE "ALWAYS" PREACHED-"THAT"
TO THE KIDS..
WHILE YOU'RE "IN"-COLLEGE..
FIGURE OUT WHAT IT "IS"..
THAT "YOU" LOVE TO DO..
& STUDY COURSES TO DO "THAT"..
BECAUSE "I"-THINK
LIFE IS A "WHOLE"-LOT BETTER
IF YOU "LIKE" YOUR JOB..
AN "OLD"-BOSS OF MINE ONCE SAID..
"THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE MOST-"BORING" JOBS--HAVE THE MOST-ELABORATE "HOBBIES"..
("I" DON'T REALLY HAVE "ANY"-HOBBIES..
"BESIDES" WATCHING-SPORTS ON
T-V..
& KEEPING TRACK OF HOW MANY TIMES MY WIFE GOES TO "TARGET"..
