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Man! The CRAZIEST stuff happens to ME. I AM married. And, I have KIDS. And a dog. And two cats. Read about it HERE...

SCARED of the Dentist!

by Tony Manes , posted Jan 29 2013 3:38PM

SO..

I WENT TO MY DENTIST--"DR. BERRY"--YESTERDAY..

TO GET A "CROWN"..

IT'S MY "3RD"-CROWN..

IN THE LAST "3"-MONTHS..

(1-MORE.....& THE "5TH"-ONE IS "FREE")..

& I-"BLAME"..

MY "CHILDHOOD"-
DENTIST..

"DR. HOY"..

WHEN I WAS A KID..

"GOING TO THE DENTIST"..

WAS THE "SCARIEST"-EXPERIENCE

OF THE WHOLE-"YEAR"..

("SCARIER" THAN..
-"SISTER MARY JOSEPH"..
-SHOWERING AFTER GYM CLASS..
-OR MY MOM'S MEATLOAF..

"COMBINED")..

HE WASN'T A "DENTIST"..

HE WAS A LICENSED "TORTURE EXPERT" FOR THE C-I-A..

("THAT'S"-WHY
THE TORTURE-SCENES IN
"ZERO DARK 30"

"DIDN'T" SCARE "ME")..

"DR. HOY"..
DIDN'T "BELIEVE"
IN THAT "FANCY" NEW DRUG "NOVACAINE"..

SO..IF "HE"

DISCOVERED A CAVITY..

THERE WAS GOING TO BE
"HELL TO PAY"..

& MY "MOUTH"

WAS GOING TO BE "SATAN'S PLAYGROUND"..

& IT "DIDN'T"-MATTER IF YOU WERE "UNLUCKY"-ENOUGH TO HAVE "1"-CAVITY..

"OR"..LIKE MY SISTER-1-TIME---"5"..

"DR. HOY" WOULD "FILL 'EM ALL"..

("WITHOUT" NOVACAINE)..

SO......"WELL"-INTO ADULTHOOD..

I DIDN'T "GO"

TO THE DENTIST..

WELL..

"3"-CROWNS..

"2"-ROOT CANALS..

& "1"-"ORIGINAL" TOOTH-"LEFT"..

"LATER"..

MY MOUTH IS "STILL" A MESS..

(I NEED "ANOTHER" ROOT CANAL)..

& "DESPITE" GREAT-ADVANCES IN "DENTISTRY"..

& A "GREAT" DENTIST LIKE "DR. BERRY"..

(WHO DOESN'T "HURT" ME)..

"DR. HOY"..

"HAUNTS"-ME..

TO "THIS"-DAY..
------------------
(#1)

WOULD IT BE WIERD

TO SEE A "PSYCHIATRIST"

TO GET OVER MY "FEAR"

OF A "DENTIST"?..
-----------------
(#2)

BECAUSE "I"-

ASSOCIATE "GOING TO THE DENTIST"..

WITH "PAIN" & "SUFFERING"..

WHEN I WENT-TO "DR. BERRY'S" OFFICE FORTHE "FIRST"-TIME--
LIKE 15-YEARS AGO--

I OPENED MY MOUTH..

& "HE"

"DROPPED" BOTH HIS "PICK"..

"&"..HIS "LITTLE MIRROR"

RIGHT-"ON"-THE-"FLOOR"..

("ALL" OF HIS YEARS OF DENTAL-TRAINING..
"DIDN'T" PREPARE "HIM"
FOR WHAT HE "SAW"
IN "MY"-MOUTH)..
----------------------

ALTHOUGH MY "NUMEROUS" VISITS TO HIS OFFICE..

HAVE HELPED PAY

FOR THE HELICOPTER DECK

ON HIS YACHT..

HE "DOESN'T" HAVE A YACHT..

IT'S MORE-LIKE ONE OF THOSE CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIPS..

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01/29/2013 12:38PM

SCARED of the Dentist!

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